Category Archives: dogs

When the adult child moves back home

Middle child after climbing Mont Yongma in South KoreaMiddle child, age 24 has lived in Seoul, South Korea for the past year, she now returns home in exactly one week. For the first few weeks she will be crabby, something she, herself freely admits. Part of the problem will be the time change for her. Seoul is thirteen hours ahead of us. Her nights, are my days. For the past year, she has phoned us just before her bedtime, when we are just getting up to start our day. So when I spoke with her this morning, I asked if she would still have a morning chat with me. She responded, well if I am up feeding the dogs I will. I reminded her that her father feeds the dogs at 6:30am, her tune soon changed well I guess not then.

Well living in South Korea, middle child’s diet completely changed. She eats mostly vegetables because meat is very expensive, we eat meat a good five nights out of seven. She eats a lot of sushi, we never eat sushi. I said she could have the refrigerator in the basement to keep her food, but she didn’t seem to like that idea. She also hasn’t really eaten a lot of cheese, something she lived on when she was here, regardless of the fact, it makes her incredibly ill because she has a milk intolerance. When she was home the cheese disappeared quickly in the fridge, whereas the last package of cheese her father and I had in the fridge, went mouldy because we didn’t eat very much of it.

She has a part-time job when she returns, while she looks for a full-time job in her set career, but in the meantime, she says she will be relaxing for a few weeks, it is her retirement from teaching she tells me. Ha! I remind her that her father is 54, and will not be able to retire for another ten years, thus retirement for her at twenty-four will not happen.

When she arrives home, the first few days will be lovely, even though we have spoken with her pretty much every day since she left, it is still not the same as actually seeing and giving her a hug when she is sad. After the initial I missed you days, the screaming will probably ensue by both of us trying to learn how to live together again. I will want her to wash the dishes, and she will complain about how many coffee cups I use in a day. Eventually she will wash them, but probably not to my liking. It is a mother thing. She will leave a mess that I am not use too, I will leave a mess that she is not use too. Oh life will be fun as we learn to live together again, and not want to kill each other.

When the adult child returns home to live after being away for a year, have you experienced this?

A true empty nest summer

Matt and I on one of our summer walks

Matt and I on one of our summer walks

The summer is over and a different summer it was for my husband and I. This was the first time in twenty-seven years where not one of our children spent the hot summer days at home. The eldest has lived in her own place for a couple of years now, middle child is off on the other side of the world (home in less than ninety days now), and the youngest was able to get summer employment with the university he attends, thus it only made sense he would continue living away from home. The youngest did come home for a week in August, and really milked the “I am on vacation” attitude.

Our summer was spent with me working in my vegetable garden, drying herbs for the winter, canning, and swimming pretty much every day. When my husband wasn’t working, he spent his time re-building his shed from the ground up, and erecting a deck around the new pool. There was no camping this year, or canoeing, which I missed horribly. We did spend a few days in Quebec visiting our son, and after his vacation at home, I drove him back to university. This meant, it would be just me and our two dogs on the return trip. It took me two days to get home. The first day I drove for about five hours with loads of rest stops, laying in the back of the van with the dogs. I then stopped at my friend’s house for the night, knowing I would not be able to make the entire drive in one day. The next day, what is normally about a four-hour drive, if I was with my husband, took me ten hours. My legs kept going numb making driving difficult, so again I stopped at every OnRoute, for a nap. Thank goodness both our dogs are great travellers, as long as you give them walks at the rest stops, otherwise they both happily lay beside me while I rest.

Another reason we weren’t able to go anywhere this summer was due to my migraines. Ever since I started menopause, my migraines have become unmanageable. After keeping track of them for four months, it seems I was/am getting about fifteen plus a month. Due to the magnitude of them, the specialist believes I am a good candidate for Botox treatment, so in a couple of weeks, I will be stuck with approximately thirty needles in my head and neck area. One bonus of the treatment, is she promises to remove the wrinkle, well actually indentation between my eyebrows. Of course my husband doesn’t notice the wrinkle, he says he sees me like the day he met me when I was twenty-two. Such a nice guy or a good liar? I think I will believe “nice guy”.

How was your summer?