He is attending the university in our hometown, she is attending a university in another province, a good twelve hours away. He is now regretting not researching universities further, though the three he applied to offered him scholarships but they were still not close to her. During the week life isn’t so bad for him, he is kept busy with classes but the weekends are difficult, sadness creeps in like a flood. They Skype daily for hours but it isn’t enough. He talks to me about applying to the university she goes to (his sister is also there). I explain, changing universities just for a girl is not really a good idea. He gives me other reasons, like smaller classes (he hates being in a class of 500) and this university has less than 2500 students. He also says he will be in a French environment which will be better for his French language skills.
He is 18 years old, so really I can’t stop him from applying, I tell him he must get 80% in all his classes, and if they break up, he cannot switch universities for that reason. What would you do?
I think keeping the focus on the schooling – he must maintain the marks and not switch should the relationship end – is the good track. Those years are difficult. It’s a time where all emotions are intense beyond being tolerable.
First love is the most difficult, thankfully he does enjoy school and his girlfriend is also a hard worker.
Sounds like he’s got it all thought out. I’d talk to him about the distractions once he’s there – and how to manage them, I mean her.
Very good point, I will. Thank you
Agreed. Scholarship (so no financial penalty in the decision) and once the switch is made, it’s made, regardless of relationship status. Also, it’s early days yet and he may adjust but oh my, those feelings of separation and love are so powerful. Diapers were indeed easier. My DD left to go back to her uni and her boyfriend went to his, in Michigan (eight hours away). They decided after a couple of weeks to step back because it was going to be too hard. I exhaled – slowly and deeply.
Their feelings of love have only gotten stronger with the separation.
that is really hard for him then. Those are powerful feelings indeed.
I hate it when my husband goes away, luckily it is rare that we are not together.
Let him apply but set ground rules. If he has a scholarship now, he must get one for the other school. He can only switch once.
18 is a terrible age isn’t it?
I believe changing diapers was easier than dealing with teenagers.