How do you define morbid?

Sadly last week, my husband unexpectedly lost his mother. She had lived a long and enjoyable life, lasting into her eighties. She spent her retirement years down east, so when we were told of her passing, we along with other family members hoped on a plane. There are seven children, and with spouses that is quite a number to put up. All the bedrooms were assigned, and for my husband and I to be together in one bed, we were given my mother-in-law’s bed, the death bed. It’s sounds very morbid when put like that, but it actually relieved the tension in the room. I thought I would be creeped out by sleeping in the bed she actually died in, but we were exhausted the first night from travelling so the thought didn’t cross our mind, and the second night, well, it became a joke that hubby and I were sleeping in the death bed. Now, there are going to be people out there, who won’t take to me joking about this, but everyone copes with death differently.

16 thoughts on “How do you define morbid?

  1. Valentine Logar

    Firstly, I am sorry for this loss in your family. Next, it is good you could get beyond the initial discomfort and then find the ability to laugh through some of it. One of my brothers actually bought my parents house from the estate, but one of my sisters and I had to clear it and prepare it for renters, it was a long process. Through sorting, distributing things my parents wanted to go to individuals (siblings, friends and other family members), garage sales and then finally charity. Initially, it was very difficult but then partly because there are so many of us and so many stopped in to help, it just became a time of sharing, discovery, laughs and frequent jokes.

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    1. Catherine Burden

      I agree, since there were so many of us, going through my mother-in-law’s belongings was made much easier. Memories were remembered, and there was more laughter than tears.

      Reply
  2. actuallymummy

    It’s very difficult to know how to feel or behave at these events, but I think having a lot of family and friends around helps so much to brush away the strangeness and somehow feel that you have all done something good.

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  3. 4writermom

    First, I as well am sorry for your loss. I have to say that I deal with death in probably a completely abnormal way, I wouldn’t have been to sleep in the room, let alone the same bed that she passed away in. OMG! You and the hubs are so brave….as are all of those who’ve commented thus far. I would have been freaked out! Man! I hate that I can’t be like that. I don’t deal with death well, so I don’t deal with it at all. Being in that house, in that room, in that bed would have forced me into a corner and I likely wouldn’t have been successfully in making it out. I think that’s so awesome of you and hubby!
    May comfort continue to be with you and the entire family.

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  4. ferragudofan

    sorry to hear your news – but glad that you could find time, space and ‘allowance’ to be able to smile in your grief too – I’m sure your husband’s mother would have wanted it that way!

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  5. Mary Champagne (@tweepwife)

    I think that this is wonderful – if I passed away I would want my children to be relaxed in my spaces, laughing and loving. When my father passed away eleven years ago at home, we had a night nurse with us and she helped us wash him and take off the medical apparatus. Before being in the situation I would have thought that was morbid, but it was actually part of dignifying his passing. And then, the Irish wake!

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  6. Ashleigh

    I think joking and laughter are the only way to deal with these things. I hope when my time comes that my friends and family get together to celebrate my life with music and laughter rather than mourning with tears and misery.

    Reply

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