Tag Archives: Mental Health

I’ve lost my oomph

Every once in a while I lose what I like to refer to as my “oomph”. You know what it is, you get up in the morning with a smile, all ready to attack the day. Well, I haven’t been waking up with a smile and I certainly have no gumption to attack the day. I force myself out of bed, have a coffee, sit down, boot up the laptop and then stare at it. I have very little interest in reading emails, blogs, checking Facebook or Twitter.

Sometimes it seems I’ve had to much information thrown at me and it is time to shut it all down for a few days. I turn off the laptop, the television, and return to “old school” enjoyments. I open a book to read, I pick up my knitting or sewing, I ignore the outside world. By stepping back from everything, I have time for contemplation, self-reflection and hope my “oomph” returns.

Contemplation

What do you do to regain your oomph? Have you ever lost your oomp?

What happened when she didn’t sleep for five days?

She exploded and that is putting it mildly.

Middle child has had issues with sleeping for quite a long time now. Her sadness doesn’t help matters or the stress she puts upon herself or the constant stomach pains she has been suffering from for a year. An ultrasound showed she has kidney stones but apparently not enough to cause the pain she suffers so another test has been ordered, a Carbon 14 Breath test.

The medication she was prescribed by the doctor should have knocked her out but for some reason it didn’t even make her tired. Nights went by, but sleep eluded her. Each morning she would come downstairs with bags under her eyes, exhausted, cranky, and tearful. Anytime we said anything to her, she would snap, and snap at us. We tiptoed around her for days but still, we were an annoyance. She was exhausted and there was nothing we could do except hope she would sleep.

Finally earlier in the week, it all came to a head. She lost it on us. She screamed, and screamed, threw plastic cups at her brother (they just happened to be near her). Her brother screamed back, her father screamed back, I yelled for all to stop to no avail. I honestly cannot believe the neighbours did not call the police, the yelling was that mean and loud. I finally walked out, I couldn’t stand it any longer. Barefoot, purse in hand, kleenex box in another, crying I walked down our very busy street oblivious to the cars passing by me. I came to rest at the nearest corner, sat down on a ledge, crying and blowing my nose. The teenage boy came after me, and said the yelling had subsided, she had stopped.

I walked back home, it was quiet when I entered. Middle child had gone to her room and phoned my bff (an Aunt to her). She was calmer now. She told her adopted Aunt how she had lost it, she was terrified she was going nuts because she hadn’t slept in days. DH was in the basement, the teenage boy left for a jog (I think). After her phone call, middle child and I talked. I tried to explain to her, that lack of sleep, the constant pain, makes her full of rage. She took her medication and tried to sleep. I went to bed.

The next morning, she still had not slept but she was calm, crying and apologizing for her behaviour. Finally, two days after her explosion she slept for five hours. She was much happier. We saw our family doctor, who prescribed her medication for her stomach (a major cause of her not sleeping) and told her to increase the other meds.

She is sleeping a tad better now, though she is not 100%, this may take a while but at least she knows her stomach pain is not in her head.

Middle child gave me permission to write this.

Confidence

Years ago my great aunt, who I was very close to, was in the hospital dying from cancer. I would visit her daily since her family lived out of town. I didn’t mind doing this at all, in fact the time we spent together was wonderful. Then she had a stroke, and was no longer able to speak. On my visits I started to confide in her. Though she was unable to respond, I could see the support in her eyes. Her days were numbered and as she worsened I would read her parables from the Bible.

The number of people I choose to confide in is very limited, basically there is my husband and best friend. Yet, even then there are always some things you cannot say. Last night, was one of those nights where because of circumstance I was left heartbroken, crying alone. Hubby was at work and I really didn’t want to phone anyone to explain how I was feeling, I just wanted to be alone in my tears.

Sometimes sharing how you feel is difficult. How do you feel about sharing your feelings?