Tag Archives: Ontario

Feeling so ever lost

My husband turned 54 this past Saturday, we are now the same age, and will be until April when I will turn 55. At the beginning of the month we returned the young man to university, he may be home in the spring, but there is also a good chance he will not be. The eldest lives an hour away from us, and well middle child is in a whole different country, Seoul, South Korea. At home one hundred percent of the time are the dogs and I. It is very quiet.

I spend a good deal of my time looking for a house in the country that doesn’t have a perfectly mowed lawn, but trees, lots of trees, maybe a pond, bushes, and wild flowers. I no longer enjoy the city, it’s far too noisy for me, I no longer have children that I am transporting here and there. I take the dogs to the dog park, or if my husband isn’t working we take them to one of the trails nearby.

Houses in the country though, are, it seems very expensive, unless we move further west but then the commute for my husband would be well over an hour, too much for a guy who has walked to work for the past twenty odd years. So I look for houses in some of the much smaller towns that aren’t too far away. Simcoe, has some lovely ones, the commute would be an hour or less, he can do that so I tell him.

I’m looking to revitalize our life, change it. Ultimately I would like to move up north or somewhere around Picton, or to the eastern townships of Quebec. ┬áTo move to any of those places my husband would have to retire, or start a new job. Retirement can’t happen for a few years, and starting a new job when you receive six weeks vacation right now, doesn’t sound all that appealing to my husband.

Right now would be a good time to sell our house, a house we have made into a home for the last twenty-three and half years. Middle child was two months old when we moved here. There have been a lot of changes, and I do love my house, but it is too big for us now. Even if the young man returns home for the summer, the house is still too big.

As I continue to walk up the hill of life, I’m feeling so ever lost. Bear is leading me, but he has no idea where he is going, until I tell him right or left, and I don’t really know which way.

Bear, middle child's dog helps me walk up the hill