Tag Archives: Relationships

What happened when she didn’t sleep for five days?

She exploded and that is putting it mildly.

Middle child has had issues with sleeping for quite a long time now. Her sadness doesn’t help matters or the stress she puts upon herself or the constant stomach pains she has been suffering from for a year. An ultrasound showed she has kidney stones but apparently not enough to cause the pain she suffers so another test has been ordered, a Carbon 14 Breath test.

The medication she was prescribed by the doctor should have knocked her out but for some reason it didn’t even make her tired. Nights went by, but sleep eluded her. Each morning she would come downstairs with bags under her eyes, exhausted, cranky, and tearful. Anytime we said anything to her, she would snap, and snap at us. We tiptoed around her for days but still, we were an annoyance. She was exhausted and there was nothing we could do except hope she would sleep.

Finally earlier in the week, it all came to a head. She lost it on us. She screamed, and screamed, threw plastic cups at her brother (they just happened to be near her). Her brother screamed back, her father screamed back, I yelled for all to stop to no avail. I honestly cannot believe the neighbours did not call the police, the yelling was that mean and loud. I finally walked out, I couldn’t stand it any longer. Barefoot, purse in hand, kleenex box in another, crying I walked down our very busy street oblivious to the cars passing by me. I came to rest at the nearest corner, sat down on a ledge, crying and blowing my nose. The teenage boy came after me, and said the yelling had subsided, she had stopped.

I walked back home, it was quiet when I entered. Middle child had gone to her room and phoned my bff (an Aunt to her). She was calmer now. She told her adopted Aunt how she had lost it, she was terrified she was going nuts because she hadn’t slept in days. DH was in the basement, the teenage boy left for a jog (I think). After her phone call, middle child and I talked. I tried to explain to her, that lack of sleep, the constant pain, makes her full of rage. She took her medication and tried to sleep. I went to bed.

The next morning, she still had not slept but she was calm, crying and apologizing for her behaviour. Finally, two days after her explosion she slept for five hours. She was much happier. We saw our family doctor, who prescribed her medication for her stomach (a major cause of her not sleeping) and told her to increase the other meds.

She is sleeping a tad better now, though she is not 100%, this may take a while but at least she knows her stomach pain is not in her head.

Middle child gave me permission to write this.

The importance of having a Will

When my uncle past away a number of years ago, he had a Will, but what a Will doesn’t usually take into consideration is the stuff in the house, photo albums, furniture, kitchenware’s, tools, jewellery, knickknacks, etc. After my uncles’ death, the big items, furniture, televisions, etc were actually divided up quite easily. The problems arose when one half of the family (my side), who lived out-of-town were not given ample time to pick up the items and things were given away without our final agreement.

I had sent my husband to pick up the items left to us since I was ill at the time, plus he was able to disassemble my uncle’s bed and load it into our van (I would have been useless). When my husband arrived (after working an eight-hour shift, he found a huge mess, pictures taken out of photo albums and thrown on the floor, contents of cupboards just tossed here and there. He put as much as he could in our van, thinking he still had another day, but even before he arrived home, I found out that the rest of the contents of the house were being picked up the next day by strangers. I made a phone call to the person who was responsible for giving the contents away and was reassured the contents would still be there another day.

My husband, again went back the next day after work, only to find little in the house, it had been emptied. The not very expensive but personal items I had made for my uncle and grandmother (she had past away less than a year earlier) were gone. He had made a two-hour trip for nothing and I was in tears.

In a very short number of years, I have lost my great-aunt, two grandmothers, uncle, both my parents, and a very young sister-in-law. My husband has also lost in the same time period, his mother, and just recently his brother. So suffice to say, we have this “Will” thing pretty much down pat. Not long after we had our first child we wrote our first Will, and since then have updated it after each child, and then every three or four years. We have had lengthy discussions with our children about the division of property. For example, our life insurance will go towards paying for our cremation, a wake (neither of us are having a funeral, just a party), bills and if there is any money leftover it will be divided amongst the three of them. Likewise, if one of our kids wants our house, then the other two will have their portion purchased. As for the contents, all will be divided equally and fairly.

Our kids have seen the problems which have arisen when money/things are not shared equally, so I can confidently say, they will share because they want to avoid tears, as each of them as said, enough tears are shed when a person dies, causing more because of financial gain/material items is just not worth more tears.

Do you have a will? Have you talked to your kids about the division of money/items?