Tag Archives: Sex

Did you get the “extended warranty?”

There is never, ever a dull moment in our house. Sometimes there are tears, and sometimes there is a whole lot of laughter.

Yesterday I signed for a package for middle child. I had no idea what I was signing for, but since she signs for my mail, I figured I would return the favour, saving her a trip to the post office. Well little did I know what was in the long, rectangular shaped box – I couldn’t even fathom a guess, I would just have to wait until she returned home from running errands. I did send her a text telling her mail had arrived for her from China. She responded with not Turkey? Turkey, I say? Her reply “nvm” (never mind, for those of you who aren’t up-to-date on texting shortcuts).

About an hour or so later, as hubby and I are in the kitchen preparing for dinner, middle child returns home, and I give her the “package”. Being so ever curious, I ask what she has ordered. Well, as she bursts out laughing, she tells me it’s a “Bluetooth vibrator”. OMFG! You mean, I signed for a Bluetooth vibrator? Geez, laughter, lots and lots of laughter from all three of us. She goes on to explain how she was with her friends, a few drinks too many, on Amazon, and lo and behold the Bluetooth vibrator caught her attention, and well she is almost 25 and doesn’t have a boyfriend at this current time. Plus, she said her friend bought one too, then she reminded me about the vibrator she found in my dresser drawer. Oops.

Of course dad jokingly asks “did you get the extended warranty?” ROTFLMAO!

Note: A healthy sex life is a good thing, and more importantly if you can talk to your kids about sex, you have a great relationship.

As my wife slept soundly by my side, she climbed into our bed

The wife:

Friday evening started with our middle daughter having a few friends over from her university days, to begin a weekend of partying, saying goodbye, and good luck. Middle child was moving to Seoul, South Korea for a year to teach ESL (English as a Second Language).

Now this was not the first time middle child has had friends over for the weekend, our house is the gathering point for pre-drinking. This time though, hubby and I would be joining the party. As the young ladies prepared their make-up, slipped on their fancy outfits, poured their pre-drinks, hubby and I ate pizza prepared and served by middle child’s best friend. Next car pools, and designated drivers were arranged, and off we went to the Ping Pong Bar and Lounge (another of middle child’s best friends had booked one of the game rooms for a night.).

Though many tears flowed, the evening was a success. Hubby and I our made our way back home, while the girls went off to a house party. Sooner or later, they would arrive back at the house, and crash.

Sometime during the middle of the night, I awoke to check which girls had made it safely back to the house. Two were in middle child’s bed, our niece was in the young man’s room, the young man was in my sewing room. Middle child had not yet arrived home. I was not worried, she is twenty-three, and moving across the world. I went back to bed.

The husband:

As my wife slept soundly by my side, she climbed into our bed. Young, beautiful, nubile, every man’s dream was happening to me. Slowly I rose…..out of our bed, tucked the young woman in bedside my sleeping wife, and went downstairs to sleep on the couch.  The dream was not a dream, and as much as I may have wanted to act upon this threesome, I could not.

The wife:

I awoke with a start! The young woman awoke with a start! WTF? Where was my husband, and how did she get into our bed? She had no idea. Oh the poor girl, embarrassed beyond belief, apologizing over and over again, that finally I told her to shut up! No harm or funny business had come to any of us, it was no big deal. The poor girl went back to middle child’s room, well I went off to find my husband, to ask what the hell had happened during the night? As he related the story of her climbing into our bed, all we could do was laugh, having had too much to drink, she had slept-walked.

As others awoke in the house, and a phone call to middle child, the poor girl hid in the bedroom too embarrassed to come out. I went upstairs, and spoke to her again. We were not upset in the least, if anything, it now gave me material for a blog post (I promised no names), and she would have to live with some fun teasing, as I asked her would she tell her mom?