Tag Archives: Sex

My life with chronic pain, dogs, and Master Baking

Life has been a roller coaster of pain lately, with Bursitis now in my hip, sitting, which was already quite difficult for any length of time, is now almost impossible for more than a few minutes without having to take more medication. It has left me quite depressed, not really wanting to do anything.

Making life more painful, has been my insistence on taking the dogs for a walk in the dog park (though I have lost quite a bit of weight which is a bonus). It was not too bad walking on the snow, but then it melted, and refroze. Left were deep ruts in the ice, making it extremely hard, and actually dangerous to walk on, yet I did, then paid for it with having to lay on the couch covered in ice pads and heating pads.

A couple of weeks ago, we had the pleasure of both middle child and the young man home for six days. Each were on spring break at the same time. It was wonderful to have them home but then reality set it…laundry, the tank of gas that lasts a month for hubby and I now vanished. It seems I have become used to the empty nest, the quietness, and my own slow but steady routine. With the kids home, I was reminded how there was no food in the refrigerator when actually there was, but nothing to their liking. How I now had to buy skim milk for the young man, almond milk for middle child, numerous juices, since one container seemed to disappear in a day.

Then they left and what happened? I missed them. It was about a week after they left that the young man Skyped with his mom and dad. He doesn’t Skype very often since his internet connection is not very stable. The conversation was awesome, but I was very tired, and with exhaustion comes fibro brain, meaning I mess up words, can’t find the words I need to complete a sentence, or I mispronounce. As I was explaining to the young man, how I made English muffins, he didn’t really seem to care because as he told me, he doesn’t like English muffins, and will therefore never make them. The next thing that happens is I ask why he doesn’t want to be “Master Baking”, and both he and my husband break out in laughter. I’m lost, until they explain that it sounded as if I had said I wanted him to become, like his mom “Master” at “Masturbation”. Personally I didn’t see it, but they laughed and laughed. Conclusion, mom should not have conversations when she is tired.

It’s been over two years since my husband starting renovating the bathroom. Well, actually it was my idea, and the eldest daughter said she would do most of the work but then she started working. The bathroom was left a mess, and it was now up to my husband to finish what we had started.  I wanted subway tiles to cover all the walls, so after much disagreement, and me holding out for my design, hubby finally relented and the tiling began. It took well over a thousand tiles to cover all the walls, before he finished. The grouting was done, fixtures were put back in place. We still have to decide how the shelves will be done. More tiling, wallpaper, or paint? This decision may take another few months. Thankfully we have the upstairs bathroom for showers. We can still use the sink and toilet in the bathroom, but there is no towel rack, so towels are just thrown here and there after washing one’s hands.

This has been my life lately.

She likes to switch it up

If you follow my blog you know that our eldest daughter moved out of the house this past November (insert mom tears). The first few months were fine, she would phone me each day, and we’d chat about what we were going to do, how her job search was going, and anything else that came to mind. Well, doesn’t she go out and get herself a full-time job about a month ago!

Gone are the daily phone calls to mom (insert tears again). Instead I may get a phone call a couple of times during the week. Why? Because she now phones her dad! I asked her why she was no longer phoning me each day to chat, her answer “I like to switch it up”. You thought with the title of this post I was going to write about sex didn’t you? I guess I could say I like to be on top occasionally (inserts laughter).

Now hubby puts everyone he talks to on speaker phone, making it easy for me to listen in. The problem is I then want to ask questions? I realize I am eavesdropping on the phone call, but he has it on speaker, so I think this is fair game for me.

Well there he is listening to her tell a story, and I am yelling questions from the other room, but I’m generally being ignored, and apparently interrupting their conversation (I have very good lungs, so even though the phone is in another room, my daughter can clearly hear what I am saying, this comes from years of yelling at my kids to do their chores).

Next thing I notice, he has taken her off speaker phone and he has gone downstairs. I can no longer hear what she is saying, I only hear his voice which doesn’t give me much. Thus I am doomed to wait for my phone call.

A hole for his dick

The title of this post is to the point but the conversation that it was in was quite harmless. If you follow my blog, you know that the young man (previously known as the teenage boy) is away attending his third year of university. When he was at home, we had (and still do have) fabulous conversations, but when he talked about sex he would generally have these conversations with one of his sisters. Certainly there has been no topic left uncovered here, we have always spoken openly and freely with our children from condoms to women’s breast and stretch marks. Thus our kids have never been afraid to approach a topic with us.

The other day, when I was having one of my weekly in-depth conversations with the young man (verses the 8 a.m text message Saturday morning asking for my rib recipe, that he didn’t even make because he did not have a large glass pan), he was telling me how this girl likes his roommate but she did not want to be “just a hole for his dick, she wants a relationship…..and on and on”.  Well didn’t I just burst out in laughter, stating “I can’t believe you just said that son, omg”. He went on to explain, and I interrupted, stating I totally understood, I was just a tad thrown aback with his wording.

Not long after the ” a hole for his dick” conversation ended, we were back to discussing recipes, his classes, and did he receive the box of goodies his sister brought up for him.

Do you discuss sex and such openly with your children?