Tag Archives: sleeping bags

A flying condom wrapper hit me in the head

Last month hubby and I had the opportunity to go away without kids for two weeks, and we took it!  Granted there were only two of our three children at living home and they are 23 and 21, so having mom and dad out of the house for a couple of weeks really isn’t a big deal.

Not a lot gets done in regards to personal grooming when you are on the road for two weeks, camping most of the time. Showers were had, but trying to shave one’s legs in a campground shower stall is next to impossible, if you want to do it with hot water. Plus there were a number of days where it had rained and rained so the comfort stations were not in their best shape.

Picture of us on Cape Breton Island Nova Scotia

Starting to look haggard

So after two weeks away from home, it was time for hubby and I to pretty ourselves up. I was fine with taking care of myself, hubby was able to trim his beard to perfection, but then came time to deal with the back hair. I know, eww, and he required my assistance.

Some woman may like a hairy man, and certainly I like his hairy chest but when it comes to back hair, no thank you, I do not want to sleep with a grizzly bear. Over the years we have tried different methods of hair removal. There was the waxing episode (insert laughter), it did not go over well, sure enough it removed a lot of hair but he couldn’t handle the pain (and he has the nerve to suggest I wax my nether regions, ha!). Then there was the cream removal treatment, it didn’t really work either, I had to keep slathering it on, then showering it off for him, then slathering it on again, showering, and so on. The final and most successful is plain old shaving with the electric beard trimmer, it’s quick, painless, and does the trick. Voila! He’s been beautified.

Now sex on vacation doesn’t really happen when you are driving, and stopping, and driving all day, then trying to find a place to stay, particularly since this was a spur of the moment trip, and nothing was booked. We were exhausted most nights, then we would be camping, having to cook our dinner, set up the tent, the air mattress, sleeping bags, and hubby’s nightly fight to start a fire with soggy wood (he usually won after soaking everything with camp fuel). Don’t get me wrong, I would not trade the camping for anything, I loved every minute of it, and so did my husband, but we were tired, and even if sex was on our mind, we were tired.

So, when we arrived home, we had to make up for lost time. Now, after years of bad timing you would think middle child would have learned by now, that when you knock on your parent’s bedroom door, you do not just walk in. Apparently the poor girl has not learned, and is once again scarred for life!

After slamming our door shut, she yelled she was going to check the mail. About ten minutes later I sent her a text message asking if we received any mail, she sent me this back:

No
Please
I’m tainted
My brain is overloading
I’m about to throw up
WHY
GET A FUCKING HOTEL ROOM
DISGUSTING HUMANS
I WANT TO DIE

The poor girl. Now a few weeks have gone by, and I must say she has gotten her revenge, not on purpose, but she has. This morning as I was driving the dogs to the dog park with the windows open, I was suddenly hit in the head by some sort of plastic wrapping, which then drops down to the floor. I look down, and what do I see but an open condom wrapper, OMFG – is the thought! I’m distracted by the dogs, until I arrive home, and as I am letting the dogs out of the car, I actually find the used condom in the back of the van. She got me. I’m grossed out. I’m happy she’s playing it safe, but in my van, ewww, Get a fucking hotel room daughter.

Hotel Frontenac

Le Chateau Frontenac, Quebec City

I still need my cream, streamlining for our camping trip

camping barrel

Each time my husband and I go camping in the backcountry of Algonquin Provincial Park, he tries to very hard to streamline what we he will be carrying. This trip will have has traveling about four hours by van, then canoeing and portaging another four and a half hours, with our final destination being Burnt Island Lake.

Since we are going so far into the backcountry, are supplies are divided into two categories: items deemed to be necessary by both of us, and those items deemed necessary by me. The must have items are:

Canoe:

  • safety bailer
  • extra paddle
  • paddles
  • life jackets
  • fishing rods & equipment
  • fishing licence
  • rope
  • whistle
  • flash lights
  • first aid kit
  • Medication
  • toilet paper
  • bug spray
  • sun lotions
  • Duck Tape
  • bear spray
  • Map
  • Compass
  • camera
  • folding chairs

Tent:

  • tent
  • tarp
  • air mattress
  • sleeping bags
  • some sort of pillows (hubby had blow up spiderman inflatables for pillows, I had boring red squares)
  • rope

Kitchen Equipment

  • fork, knife, spoon, tongs,
  • very sharp knife
  • Coleman stove or burner
  • fuel
  • plate, bowl, cups
  • reusable coffee mug
  • water bottles
  • something to hold water (folding plastic jug)
  • frying pan
  • pot with lid
  • kettle, coffee filter, paper filters
  • coffee
  • food
  • tin foil,
  • baggies, small and large
  • shamwow’s, clothes pegs
  • dish soap (biodegradable)
  • fire starter
  • axe
  • saw

Clothes:

  • shoes/sandals
  • towel
  • sweater
  • jeans
  • shorts
  • t-shirts
  • socks
  • pj’s
  • sun glasses
  • hat
  • Rain poncho
  • underwear, bra (I can go braless, but that depends on my mood)
  • tooth-brush & toothpaste

Extra:

  • two walking sticks for me

Now this is by no means a complete list, but a start. Remember we have to pack all of this in two barrels, two knapsacks, and the canoe. For food, because we are going into the interior of the park, bringing a cooler is just crazy, it would just add another thing to carry, so we eat dried food where you just need to add boiled water (lake water we have boiled for five minutes).

Now I can understand his point, but really I need cream for my coffee.