Tag Archives: Teenagers

Adventures of Kevin, my Elf on a Shelf

A few years ago, I bought myself some Christmas Ducks to add to my decorations. The Christmas ducks looked fabulous in my kitchen, but then the games began. The teenage boy thought it would be funny to hide them on me, and each time I found them he would hide them again. This goes on for at least the two weeks leading up to Christmas. You can read about the Christmas ducks here. This year, I purchased an Elf on the Shelf and even though the elf is not geared to a teenager or adult children, I thought it would be a gas to have him in the house.

Much to my surprise though, each one of my children thought the Elf on the Shelf was creepy, but I went ahead and received an adoption certificate and name him Kevin. Kevin was chosen since my husband is always trying to rename our beagle Cocoa Kevin who is amazing in this Samsung commercial (our beagle cannot do anything but sit, stay, and lay down).

Back to the Elf. I proudly displayed Kevin and spoke about him incessantly. The Elf on the shelf was proudly displayed in the kitchen along with my other decorations when the teenage boy decided he would do to the Elf what he has been doing to my Christmas ducks, hide him. Now if you know me, you would realize I am completely oblivious to my surroundings. I walk from point A to point B without noticing anything at all, thus the reason things can only be hidden in the kitchen or living room, they can’t be to low to the ground (I don’t bend well) and not to high up that I have to climb.

I am now always on the lookout for Kevin, my elf on the shelf, but realize as soon as I take my eyes off of him, he is hidden again along with my Christmas ducks.

A hole for his dick

The title of this post is to the point but the conversation that it was in was quite harmless. If you follow my blog, you know that the young man (previously known as the teenage boy) is away attending his third year of university. When he was at home, we had (and still do have) fabulous conversations, but when he talked about sex he would generally have these conversations with one of his sisters. Certainly there has been no topic left uncovered here, we have always spoken openly and freely with our children from condoms to women’s breast and stretch marks. Thus our kids have never been afraid to approach a topic with us.

The other day, when I was having one of my weekly in-depth conversations with the young man (verses the 8 a.m text message Saturday morning asking for my rib recipe, that he didn’t even make because he did not have a large glass pan), he was telling me how this girl likes his roommate but she did not want to be “just a hole for his dick, she wants a relationship…..and on and on”.  Well didn’t I just burst out in laughter, stating “I can’t believe you just said that son, omg”. He went on to explain, and I interrupted, stating I totally understood, I was just a tad thrown aback with his wording.

Not long after the ” a hole for his dick” conversation ended, we were back to discussing recipes, his classes, and did he receive the box of goodies his sister brought up for him.

Do you discuss sex and such openly with your children?

Learning to live with our kids again

This coming weekend is Easter, the weekend we travel to pick up the two kids from university. The drive to Quebec will take us anywhere from nine hours to twelve depending on traffic. Once we arrive, middle child will immediately want to start moving the contents of her apartment into the trailer, we will have brought with us, hubby will want a beer and I will want to lay down since the drive is exceptionally hard on my body.

Now middle child has lived on her own for three years, so there is three years of her crap precious belongings to bring home. Once her stuff is loaded, we will then drive over to where the teenage boy lives in residence. More crap precious belongings will be loaded into the trailer. So in less than a week, are other two children plus one large dog will be home, again. This is when our life will once again be turned upside-down. Now middle child will only be home for a couple of weeks, since she is going back for spring school, leaving us with her dog, which is a whole other set of issues.

The first thing my husband will notice will be the leftovers – they will be non-existent, and hubby loves leftovers, great for work, and snacks for when he gets home from work. Next I will notice that the tank of gas we put in the van once a month, will now last about a week, and the van will rarely be in the driveway. I can’t complain about the laundry, since my girls do their own, but the teenage boy will remind me, he is on vacation again, and thus the laundry is all mine. I will give him credit for bringing it up and down the stairs for me.

Middle child has to leave her dog with us while she returns to university for six weeks, because of new living arrangements. Bear, a mixture of German Shepherd and Doberman, is a very well-behaved dog who adores our daughter. So for the first week, he will pine for her while he also gets used to living with us again. There will be mud everywhere. We have a large yard for him to run around in, but we also have a lot of mud in our yard in the spring, if of course spring ever gets here. So along with cleaning the paws of our own little beagle, we will now have to clean the paws of Bear. The worst though, is the amount of poo outside will double, and Bear’s business is not small, plus he prefers to go wherever, whereas our dog is trained to go in the same area.

So this Easter weekend, all seven of us (five adults, two dogs) will be together again, arguments will quickly ensue as people and dogs learn to put up with each other again love each other for all of our differences again.

Note:

The fact that our youngest is nineteen years old, mom sent him a text message last night:

  • Mom: “Does the Easter Bunny need to make a stop here, he/she was wondering. (mom’s have a direct line to the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus just for such questions)
  • Teenage boy: “Tell the Easter Bunny that if he has to ask, I’m going to skewer him and roast him in a stew”
  • Mom: “Oh dear, though rabbit for Easter may be good”
  • Teenage boy: “No”