Tag Archives: University

A true empty nest summer

Matt and I on one of our summer walks

Matt and I on one of our summer walks

The summer is over and a different summer it was for my husband and I. This was the first time in twenty-seven years where not one of our children spent the hot summer days at home. The eldest has lived in her own place for a couple of years now, middle child is off on the other side of the world (home in less than ninety days now), and the youngest was able to get summer employment with the university he attends, thus it only made sense he would continue living away from home. The youngest did come home for a week in August, and really milked the “I am on vacation” attitude.

Our summer was spent with me working in my vegetable garden, drying herbs for the winter, canning, and swimming pretty much every day. When my husband wasn’t working, he spent his time re-building his shed from the ground up, and erecting a deck around the new pool. There was no camping this year, or canoeing, which I missed horribly. We did spend a few days in Quebec visiting our son, and after his vacation at home, I drove him back to university. This meant, it would be just me and our two dogs on the return trip. It took me two days to get home. The first day I drove for about five hours with loads of rest stops, laying in the back of the van with the dogs. I then stopped at my friend’s house for the night, knowing I would not be able to make the entire drive in one day. The next day, what is normally about a four-hour drive, if I was with my husband, took me ten hours. My legs kept going numb making driving difficult, so again I stopped at every OnRoute, for a nap. Thank goodness both our dogs are great travellers, as long as you give them walks at the rest stops, otherwise they both happily lay beside me while I rest.

Another reason we weren’t able to go anywhere this summer was due to my migraines. Ever since I started menopause, my migraines have become unmanageable. After keeping track of them for four months, it seems I was/am getting about fifteen plus a month. Due to the magnitude of them, the specialist believes I am a good candidate for Botox treatment, so in a couple of weeks, I will be stuck with approximately thirty needles in my head and neck area. One bonus of the treatment, is she promises to remove the wrinkle, well actually indentation between my eyebrows. Of course my husband doesn’t notice the wrinkle, he says he sees me like the day he met me when I was twenty-two. Such a nice guy or a good liar? I think I will believe “nice guy”.

How was your summer?

Feeling so ever lost

My husband turned 54 this past Saturday, we are now the same age, and will be until April when I will turn 55. At the beginning of the month we returned the young man to university, he may be home in the spring, but there is also a good chance he will not be. The eldest lives an hour away from us, and well middle child is in a whole different country, Seoul, South Korea. At home one hundred percent of the time are the dogs and I. It is very quiet.

I spend a good deal of my time looking for a house in the country that doesn’t have a perfectly mowed lawn, but trees, lots of trees, maybe a pond, bushes, and wild flowers. I no longer enjoy the city, it’s far too noisy for me, I no longer have children that I am transporting here and there. I take the dogs to the dog park, or if my husband isn’t working we take them to one of the trails nearby.

Houses in the country though, are, it seems very expensive, unless we move further west but then the commute for my husband would be well over an hour, too much for a guy who has walked to work for the past twenty odd years. So I look for houses in some of the much smaller towns that aren’t too far away. Simcoe, has some lovely ones, the commute would be an hour or less, he can do that so I tell him.

I’m looking to revitalize our life, change it. Ultimately I would like to move up north or somewhere around Picton, or to the eastern townships of Quebec.  To move to any of those places my husband would have to retire, or start a new job. Retirement can’t happen for a few years, and starting a new job when you receive six weeks vacation right now, doesn’t sound all that appealing to my husband.

Right now would be a good time to sell our house, a house we have made into a home for the last twenty-three and half years. Middle child was two months old when we moved here. There have been a lot of changes, and I do love my house, but it is too big for us now. Even if the young man returns home for the summer, the house is still too big.

As I continue to walk up the hill of life, I’m feeling so ever lost. Bear is leading me, but he has no idea where he is going, until I tell him right or left, and I don’t really know which way.

Bear, middle child's dog helps me walk up the hill