Tag Archives: Vomit

Middle child busted, hubby steps in poo, fish throw stones

I’ve started week four without a laptop, currently I am using one that the store loaned to me while I await the okay for brand new computer. It seems they were unable to repair my motherboard or find a replacement, plus the LCD panel is shot, and there isn’t a part available for it either.  Geez.

So what has been happening with me – lots!

First I busted middle child, which had both of us laughing for a few days. What happened you ask? Some of you may not know that middle child is neither a child nor a teenager, she is a young adult doing her own thing.  Me, well I do not sleep well, I’m up numerous times throughout the night. So as it happened, I was outside on the front porch around 2 a.m. when a cab pulled up beside the house. Ah middle child has arrived home, but not by herself, she has brought a boy, hmm. She first tries to sneak him in the front gate, which is ridiculously silly since it is only a few steps from the front porch. Unable to open the lock, she realizes she has no choice but to walk by mom (I’m laughing as I watch her). She quickly races past me, and I assume she hopes the boy does, but nope! Like any mother who sees her daughter bring someone home, I hold my hand out to shake his while I introduce myself (oh I’m cruel!). Being a polite young man, he shakes my hand and introduces himself (with a big grin on his face). They both enter the house, while I yell “Busted!”

The next day, hubby awoke at his usual time of 6:30 a.m. to get ready for work and feed the dogs.  Well it seems no one took the dogs out to do their business the night before, so one of them had an accident in the house, which my husband stepped in! After cleaning up that mess, Bear was sick and vomited on the landing. Another mess for hubby to clean up, only to step in another poo a few minutes later. It was not a good morning start for him!

Next up was the young man, who broke out with a case of chicken pox, this was the second time for him. I woke up with a stye in my left eye, so it was off to the family doctor for both of us. A prescription for me, rest and Benadryl for the young man. Thankfully the chicken pox  pretty much remained on his torso, but it was still quite itchy for him and my stye has cleared up.

Lastly our fish, which I seriously considered flushing down the toilet for a premature death the other day. I again woke up in the middle of the night only to hear noises that sounded similar to electrical wires arcing. Since I had my phone with me, I turned on the flashlight app and went on the hunt for the cause of the noise. After checking all floors, plus the electrical panel I went back to bed. After about another hour of sleeping, I once again woke to the weird sounds, unable to find anything the second time around, I went back to bed hoping that if there was a fire, our fire alarms would wake me. It wasn’t until the morning that I found out the source of the noise – the fish. Hubby, who had slept on the couch in the basement, explained the fish were picking up the stones on the bottom of the aquarium then spitting them out, hitting the glass. He too was very close to killing our pond fish, who spend winters in the house.

The last of my children is no longer a teenager

Twenty years ago today I went into the hospital to have my pregnancy induced for the birth of my third and final child. It took twelve hours for the induction to put me into labour and have the little guy start to make his way out of me. This meant for twelve hours I would not only have the enjoyment of labour pains, but vomiting, the medicine the doctor gives you to induce labour makes me quite ill, as it did for my two previous inductions. I had an epidural so the labour pains were quite manageable but when it comes time to push, they stop the epidural and you feel the extreme pain of labour. Okay for some woman, labour is as easy as eating a piece of cake but for me, well lets be honest it is just plain hell. For my first child, the entire process took twenty-four hours, for the second twelve hours, and another twelve for the final bundle of joy kid.

Finally, when he was ready to come down the birth canal I had to push. Well try pushing after vomiting off and on for twelve hours, I was tired and to be honest I suck at pushing. Luckily the vomiting had not stopped for me, so every time I puked, I was also pushing. Who knew you used the same muscles to wretch food from your stomach and to push a baby out of your uterus? Eventually my son’s head entered the world and the doctor asked me if I wanted to feel it. Well let me tell you right now, if the doctor asks you this question, don’t do it! I touched his head, and yelled “YUCK”. The doctor being quite surprised at my response, laughed and said it wasn’t “YUCK”, it was “beautiful”. Yeah, well he’s crazy. The head is slimy and gooey. I couldn’t see the head, being that I was still vomiting and apparently pushing, so beautiful, sure I guess.

Eventually our son came out and I was given the rest of the epidural medicine to try to give me some pain relief (my third pregnancy was my last because I have back problems and it was just to hard on me). I was cleaned up, and put in a wheelchair so my husband could bring our daughters in to see their new brother. After the doctor left, my husband took our daughters home, the nurses then left, and said they would be back in a few minutes to take me to my room. Well they lied, they forgot about me. So there I am sitting in a wheelchair, I can’t feel anything from the waist down due to the epidural, and I am holding my son, which is the precise time he found his lungs. So for a good thirty minutes I’m left holding a screaming child and I can’t move, I don’t have the strength to wheel the wheelchair with one hand, so I do what every woman does after twelve gruelling hours of labour, I cry. The boy is screaming and I am crying. Eventually a nurse finally returned, apologized profusely and took me to my room, while I was still holding the screaming baby.

Happy birthday son, your mom loves you.

The young man and his stuffed moose.

The young man and his stuffed moose.