Mom asked if he had a big dong?

Mr. BirdI’ve always believed that it is a parent’s job to keep their children on their toes. Now when they were young, we would do a variety of different things to keep them hopping. Of course, they are much older now and for the life of me I can’t remember any of those tricks of the trade. I do know that I did things, because every once in a while my children will remind me of what a horrible upbringing they had (every parent’s worst nightmare). God forbid that they will have kids, and actually utter the phrase “I never thought I would say/do what my parents did”. I am waiting for that day, so I can respond with “I told you so”. lol, I’m a bad mom.

The other day middle child’s brother and dad were working, and her older sister had yet to return from her weekend away, so I took middle child out for dinner. After a lovely meal, where middle child ate cheese (she is lactose intolerant), then had a mocha cappuccino but forgot to order it with soy milk, we had what I would consider an enjoyable walk to the car.

Middle child (21 years old) was chatting away about this and that, where I was only half listening (I was trying to walk with a cane and tweet with my left hand, I’m right-handed so this is always a recipe for disaster) until she said something that caught my attention. She was talking about a guy that she liked, but he had big thighs and for some reason this was a deal breaker for her. So as any good mother should, who has her child’s heart in mind, I ask if the guy has a big dong? She immediately freaks on me (now in case you are a new visitor to my blog, my family talks about everything, so really she should not have been the least surprised that mom would ask this). Later that evening, I over hear middle child telling her dad what I said, when, just for the hell of it, I yell downstairs that her dad has a big dong! She ran upstairs so fast yelling ewww MOM, I was ROTFLMAO.

I’m a bad mom.