The summer is over and a different summer it was for my husband and I. This was the first time in twenty-seven years where not one of our children spent the hot summer days at home. The eldest has lived in her own place for a couple of years now, middle child is off on the other side of the world (home in less than ninety days now), and the youngest was able to get summer employment with the university he attends, thus it only made sense he would continue living away from home. The youngest did come home for a week in August, and really milked the “I am on vacation” attitude.
Our summer was spent with me working in my vegetable garden, drying herbs for the winter, canning, and swimming pretty much every day. When my husband wasn’t working, he spent his time re-building his shed from the ground up, and erecting a deck around the new pool. There was no camping this year, or canoeing, which I missed horribly. We did spend a few days in Quebec visiting our son, and after his vacation at home, I drove him back to university. This meant, it would be just me and our two dogs on the return trip. It took me two days to get home. The first day I drove for about five hours with loads of rest stops, laying in the back of the van with the dogs. I then stopped at my friend’s house for the night, knowing I would not be able to make the entire drive in one day. The next day, what is normally about a four-hour drive, if I was with my husband, took me ten hours. My legs kept going numb making driving difficult, so again I stopped at every OnRoute, for a nap. Thank goodness both our dogs are great travellers, as long as you give them walks at the rest stops, otherwise they both happily lay beside me while I rest.
Another reason we weren’t able to go anywhere this summer was due to my migraines. Ever since I started menopause, my migraines have become unmanageable. After keeping track of them for four months, it seems I was/am getting about fifteen plus a month. Due to the magnitude of them, the specialist believes I am a good candidate for Botox treatment, so in a couple of weeks, I will be stuck with approximately thirty needles in my head and neck area. One bonus of the treatment, is she promises to remove the wrinkle, well actually indentation between my eyebrows. Of course my husband doesn’t notice the wrinkle, he says he sees me like the day he met me when I was twenty-two. Such a nice guy or a good liar? I think I will believe “nice guy”.
I thought I was ready, but I was wrong, as I sit here listening to albums, trying to hold back the tears.
You’re probably thinking I’m insane, I know my husband does, I mean, don’t all parents wait for that day when your children will move out? I know it is a loaded question. I look back at the pictures of when they were young, when they would just out of the blue hug you, run up and say I love you. I still get the hugs and the I love you’s often, but wouldn’t you like to go back and just watch them grow up again? I know I would.
Is she ready for her new life? I believe she is, we have hopefully given her the right tools, strength, courage, and love to help her make the choices that will bring her happiness. She can still call me anytime, even in the middle of the night, her bedroom will always be hers even if I use it for the time being as my sewing room.
The title of this post is to the point but the conversation that it was in was quite harmless. If you follow my blog, you know that the young man (previously known as the teenage boy) is away attending his third year of university. When he was at home, we had (and still do have) fabulous conversations, but when he talked about sex he would generally have these conversations with one of his sisters. Certainly there has been no topic left uncovered here, we have always spoken openly and freely with our children from condoms to women’s breast and stretch marks. Thus our kids have never been afraid to approach a topic with us.
The other day, when I was having one of my weekly in-depth conversations with the young man (verses the 8 a.m text message Saturday morning asking for my rib recipe, that he didn’t even make because he did not have a large glass pan), he was telling me how this girl likes his roommate but she did not want to be “just a hole for his dick, she wants a relationship…..and on and on”. Well didn’t I just burst out in laughter, stating “I can’t believe you just said that son, omg”. He went on to explain, and I interrupted, stating I totally understood, I was just a tad thrown aback with his wording.
Not long after the ” a hole for his dick” conversation ended, we were back to discussing recipes, his classes, and did he receive the box of goodies his sister brought up for him.
Do you discuss sex and such openly with your children?