Conversations with the teenage boy

The teenage boy dressed as a mime
On Facebook:

The teenage boy: Fuuuuucking hell, fire in Keuhner. (The residence where the teenage boy lives while attending university).

Mom: Oh my goodness, is everyone okay? And you son?

The teenage boy: I had to fireman carry out Ryan, so I’m a little smoked and exhausted. My leg hurts; I had to kick down Ryan’s door.

Ryan: Thank you teenage boy for saving my life.

Mom: What?

Switch to BBM:

Mom: Is what you just said on Facebook true?

The teenage boy: Yeah

Mom: OMG. Did they check you out?

The teenage boy: Yeah, I’m getting a scholarship from the university npw (npw = no problem whatsoever)

Mom: Phone me

The teenage boy: Oh god you’re fun in the morning.

Switch back to Facebook:

Mom: Please do not screw with mom’s brain early in the morning.

Mom: The brain is not working at 100% today, no sleep & loads of pain today. Grocery shopping will not happen.

The teenage boy: So, the usual, eh. Thinking mom: Thanks for the support son.

Mom: I have completely misplaced two brand new red pillowcases. I am thinking I possibly hid them somewhere when I was sleep walking.

The teenage boy: Maybe they’re on the pillows already. Dun dun duuuun! *plot twist*

Mom: I found the missing red pillow cases son, apparently I only have two, not four as I was thinking. Mystery solved.

The teenage boy: Looks like old age is really affecting your math skills.

Mom: I like to believe it is all the stress you cause me. hashtag #TeenageBoyWorrying