On Facebook:
The teenage boy: Fuuuuucking hell, fire in Keuhner. (The residence where the teenage boy lives while attending university).
Mom: Oh my goodness, is everyone okay? And you son?
The teenage boy: I had to fireman carry out Ryan, so I’m a little smoked and exhausted. My leg hurts; I had to kick down Ryan’s door.
Ryan: Thank you teenage boy for saving my life.
Mom: What?
Switch to BBM:
Mom: Is what you just said on Facebook true?
The teenage boy: Yeah
Mom: OMG. Did they check you out?
The teenage boy: Yeah, I’m getting a scholarship from the university npw (npw = no problem whatsoever)
Mom: Phone me
The teenage boy: Oh god you’re fun in the morning.
Switch back to Facebook:
Mom: Please do not screw with mom’s brain early in the morning.
Mom: The brain is not working at 100% today, no sleep & loads of pain today. Grocery shopping will not happen.
The teenage boy: So, the usual, eh. Thinking mom: Thanks for the support son.
Mom: I have completely misplaced two brand new red pillowcases. I am thinking I possibly hid them somewhere when I was sleep walking.
The teenage boy: Maybe they’re on the pillows already. Dun dun duuuun! *plot twist*
Mom: I found the missing red pillow cases son, apparently I only have two, not four as I was thinking. Mystery solved.
The teenage boy: Looks like old age is really affecting your math skills.
Mom: I like to believe it is all the stress you cause me. hashtag #TeenageBoyWorrying