He’s not the first and won’t be the last

He is attending the university in our hometown, she is attending a university in another province, a good twelve hours away. He is now regretting not researching universities further, though the three he applied to offered him scholarships but they were still not close to her. During the week life isn’t so bad for him, he is kept busy with classes but the weekends are difficult, sadness creeps in like a flood. They Skype daily for hours but it isn’t enough. He talks to me about applying to the university she goes to (his sister is also there). I explain, changing universities just for a girl is not really a good idea. He gives me other reasons, like smaller classes (he hates being in a class of 500) and this university has less than 2500 students. He also says he will be in a French environment which will be better for his French language skills.

He is 18 years old, so really I can’t stop him from applying, I tell him he must get 80% in all his classes, and if they break up, he cannot switch universities for that reason. What would you do?

10 Replies to “He’s not the first and won’t be the last”

  1. I think keeping the focus on the schooling – he must maintain the marks and not switch should the relationship end – is the good track. Those years are difficult. It’s a time where all emotions are intense beyond being tolerable.

  2. Agreed. Scholarship (so no financial penalty in the decision) and once the switch is made, it’s made, regardless of relationship status. Also, it’s early days yet and he may adjust but oh my, those feelings of separation and love are so powerful. Diapers were indeed easier. My DD left to go back to her uni and her boyfriend went to his, in Michigan (eight hours away). They decided after a couple of weeks to step back because it was going to be too hard. I exhaled – slowly and deeply.

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