I went from a stay-at-home-mom to retired

RetiredIt didn’t really hit me last year when my youngest started university because he was attending school while living at home. It was still a normal day, he would leave in the morning but be home for dinner. If he was going to be late, he would send me a text message, but most days he was home for supper. This year is different though, last weekend we drove middle child and the teenage boy to another province for their return to university. There are no lunches to be made, no parent-teacher conferences, no afterschool sports, there is nothing. The eldest is home, but at twenty-four, a college graduate and working, I can’t really say I am a stay-at-home-mom (see Note) for her, so I am retired.

On the weekend, I met another mom, who also went from SAHM to retired. Now there are women out there who would argue that she should go out to work, the identity argument. How can you have an identity if you have no career and why would anyone want to go from SAHM to retired? Well, they do fine living on her husband’s income, so moneywise, there is no need for her to work. (Which brings another argument, why wouldn’t you want your own money? For some, like myself, my husband’s paycheque is the family’s paycheque). What does she do with her time then? Once or twice a week, she volunteers at a seniors home and you know what, it’s enough. She is happy with her life, no longer a stay-at-home-mom but retired.

Note: I haven’t been able to work for quite a few years now, but it has always been easier to say I am a stay-at-home-mom.

10 Replies to “I went from a stay-at-home-mom to retired”

  1. I gave up a career I adored to stay home with my girls. That was 10 years ago and I don’t see myself ever going back. Now you have me thinking ahead to when I will retire. I think you should get to do that, own it and be celebrated for it. No one works harder than a Mother!

    1. With two of my kids away at university, it feels very odd, especially since you no longer hear the word “Mom” throughout the day. I am happy but do miss the children’s childhood – once they leave home, you wonder where the time has gone.

  2. This is a great post, Catherine. Many women enjoy being mothers and home-making. I never thought I would, but I love it. I don’t see it as a failure or selling myself short and I don’t justify my life choices to anyone. That is the great thing about women having choices today.

    Not all women do have full freedom to work or stay at home (single mothers, or people with disabilities etc), but even within restricton, we still have choices and our decisions are ours to make.

    1. Thank you Nicola. I too love being a stay-at-home-mom. Out of all the different jobs I have had, being a mom has been the most fulfilling and satisfying for me. I’ve never seen it as a lower class choice, it was my choice and the right one for our family.

      You have made an excellent point “Not all women do….we still have choices and our decisions are ours to make”.

    1. I believe some women take issue with the idea of being a SAHM, it’s not enough, or it was fine for our mothers just not fine for women of today. As for me, SAHM to retired is perfectly fine.

  3. I WANTED to go from SAHM to retired, but had to make a diversion into full-time employment to get them through college. I’m now counting the days to graduation next May. 🙂

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