Mom asked if he had a big dong?

Mr. BirdI’ve always believed that it is a parent’s job to keep their children on their toes. Now when they were young, we would do a variety of different things to keep them hopping. Of course, they are much older now and for the life of me I can’t remember any of those tricks of the trade. I do know that I did things, because every once in a while my children will remind me of what a horrible upbringing they had (every parent’s worst nightmare). God forbid that they will have kids, and actually utter the phrase “I never thought I would say/do what my parents did”. I am waiting for that day, so I can respond with “I told you so”. lol, I’m a bad mom.

The other day middle child’s brother and dad were working, and her older sister had yet to return from her weekend away, so I took middle child out for dinner. After a lovely meal, where middle child ate cheese (she is lactose intolerant), then had a mocha cappuccino but forgot to order it with soy milk, we had what I would consider an enjoyable walk to the car.

Middle child (21 years old) was chatting away about this and that, where I was only half listening (I was trying to walk with a cane and tweet with my left hand, I’m right-handed so this is always a recipe for disaster) until she said something that caught my attention. She was talking about a guy that she liked, but he had big thighs and for some reason this was a deal breaker for her. So as any good mother should, who has her child’s heart in mind, I ask if the guy has a big dong? She immediately freaks on me (now in case you are a new visitor to my blog, my family talks about everything, so really she should not have been the least surprised that mom would ask this). Later that evening, I over hear middle child telling her dad what I said, when, just for the hell of it, I yell downstairs that her dad has a big dong! She ran upstairs so fast yelling ewww MOM, I was ROTFLMAO.

I’m a bad mom.

13 Replies to “Mom asked if he had a big dong?”

  1. Very funny … and job well done and staying a bit crazier than the kids! On the other hand, poor guys …. she can know always say, “My mom always said size matters.”

  2. Wow, how embarrassing, you are so cruel?? lol
    Sounds like some good advice on how to annoy your kids for fun. i think I may try it on my boys. Only thing is I need to change it a little. Any suggestions? I have a few but they might disown me if I said it to them .:)

    1. Thank you. I have found these situations come about because there is no topic that we haven’t discussed with our kids, if you are open and honest, then you can always joke about certain things too. How you can turn this around on your boys, I have no idea, this was a spur of the moment kind of thing. Good luck. 🙂

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