If you follow my blog you know that our eldest daughter moved out of the house this past November (insert mom tears). The first few months were fine, she would phone me each day, and we’d chat about what we were going to do, how her job search was going, and anything else that came to mind. Well, doesn’t she go out and get herself a full-time job about a month ago!
Gone are the daily phone calls to mom (insert tears again). Instead I may get a phone call a couple of times during the week. Why? Because she now phones her dad! I asked her why she was no longer phoning me each day to chat, her answer “I like to switch it up”. You thought with the title of this post I was going to write about sex didn’t you? I guess I could say I like to be on top occasionally (inserts laughter).
Now hubby puts everyone he talks to on speaker phone, making it easy for me to listen in. The problem is I then want to ask questions? I realize I am eavesdropping on the phone call, but he has it on speaker, so I think this is fair game for me.
Well there he is listening to her tell a story, and I am yelling questions from the other room, but I’m generally being ignored, and apparently interrupting their conversation (I have very good lungs, so even though the phone is in another room, my daughter can clearly hear what I am saying, this comes from years of yelling at my kids to do their chores).
Next thing I notice, he has taken her off speaker phone and he has gone downstairs. I can no longer hear what she is saying, I only hear his voice which doesn’t give me much. Thus I am doomed to wait for my phone call.
The past week was quite trying for me, with a hospital visit for middle child, new medication for myself, hubby working different shifts plus overtime, I had pretty much met my limit by yesterday.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, middle child now attends college about four hours away. It is not a far distance but when she is off to the emergency department because she had passed a very large menstrual blood clot, she might as well be on another planet.
Numerous phone calls were made back and forth, money was transferred so a cab could be taken to the hospital (and back again). Tears were shed as she waited alone in a strange emergency department. The snow was coming down hard, our first storm of the season, as I debated whether or not to drive up there, knowing full well that I couldn’t make the drive myself, plans were thought out as to who could watch the dogs, so hubby could make the drive with me.
Middle child was seen by a doctor in record time for an emergency department, I believe she only waited about two hours, rather than four. Vitals were taken, blood work done. After determining she wasn’t anemic and all was stable they sent her home, telling her that the gynecologist would want to see her the next day.
Also during this week, sleeping for me was getting worse, with my one medication for chronic pain giving me insomnia. After seeing my physician, we decided that I would try a new prescription in hopes that I would start to get some sleep. So Friday, being alone, because hubby was working a twelve-hour day shift, I changed my meds. Usually if I start a new medication someone is always with me just in case I have a reaction. Well with the young man away at university, middle child away at college and having her own medical issues, the eldest living in another city now, I was alone. So, I wrote out my new list and emailed everyone, that way if something happened, phone calls could be made and correct information given. My best friend was also given the list, plus a text message was sent to her, being that she is only about twenty minutes away and happened to be on vacation. By evening, middle child would be home for the weekend, and hubby would also be home from work to watch over me.
Later that night around 1 a.m. I was woken up with extreme nausea, only to hear a beeping sound from the answering machine. Work had left a message for hubby, needing him to come in for a few hours because all the boilers are down. (This is considered an emergency since he works at a hospital, the boilers are a vital component, without them the hospital is in real trouble). Of course it didn’t seem to matter that he would have to be back at work Saturday morning for another twelve-hour shift.
Back to bed I go, and in the morning I read over the side affects of the new medication. Well lo and behold, nausea was one of them, but was I being woken up by a migraine? I phoned my pharmacist to ask her advice and to find out if I could take my migraine medication, would it react with the new script I just started? After discussing everything with her, we decided I would take my meds for a migraine since it would not interact negatively with the new painkillers. She reassured me all was good, her information was up-to-date so I didn’t have to worry.
Within an hour or two, the migraine medication started to relieve the nausea and headache, enabling me to make my Saturday morning market visit. The had day progressed pretty well, I was starting to feel normal, and the new pain medication seemed to be working, allowing me to function. By the afternoon I thought I would phone the young man since I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days, to explain my new medication, and what was going on with his sister. As I started to tell him my stories, he cut me off, saying he was busy at the moment, but promised to Skype with me in about an hour and a half.
After waiting more than the hour and a half for the Skype phone call from the young man that didn’t seem to be coming, I went out again to finish grocery shopping. It was getting late in the day, I was tired, the trying week was starting to catch up with me, I was borderline as to whether or not I would fall apart.
As I started to remove the groceries from the van, I saw middle child, plus the young man’s ex-girlfriend (but still awesome friend) walking towards me to help. Then out of the blue the young man appeared. I was stunned, overcome with emotion, and cried in the driveway as he held me. Though I couldn’t stop crying, I asked question after question, how did he get here, when did he get here, and then told him he couldn’t go out this evening. He continued to hug me as he chuckled and said I know mom, I will stay in.
I thought I was ready, but I was wrong, as I sit here listening to albums, trying to hold back the tears.
You’re probably thinking I’m insane, I know my husband does, I mean, don’t all parents wait for that day when your children will move out? I know it is a loaded question. I look back at the pictures of when they were young, when they would just out of the blue hug you, run up and say I love you. I still get the hugs and the I love you’s often, but wouldn’t you like to go back and just watch them grow up again? I know I would.
Is she ready for her new life? I believe she is, we have hopefully given her the right tools, strength, courage, and love to help her make the choices that will bring her happiness. She can still call me anytime, even in the middle of the night, her bedroom will always be hers even if I use it for the time being as my sewing room.