Why men can’t float and women can – boobs


My husband floating in the poolAfter a short hiatus, but desperately needed rest, I have returned to my blog. Our summer has not been without fun, particularly since many of the conversations between the husband and I have centred on nudity and sex. Basically this is what happens when you are living the ‘empty nest’.  If you have read my blog on a regular basis, you would know the eldest moved out a couple of years ago, middle child is off on the other side of the world, and well the youngest did not come home this summer, since he was hired on by his university for summer employment. Thus hubby and I were left on our own to amuse ourselves.

When we decided to no longer sell our house, we had already packed up quite a bit of it, and to be honest we have yet to unpack the basement. The basement is a disaster, hubby’s man cave has boxes piled up to the ceiling in some places, and in others, well there are smaller piles of boxes. By not moving, I was able to swing a new washing machine out of the deal, plus a completely redesigned laundry room.

The other major investment was to have a salt-water pool installed for me to stay in the city. Sadly it is not an inground pool, since we would have had to have a retaining wall built at the back of the yard, adding far too many thousands of dollars to the final bill. Instead we chose a really nice above-ground, and hubby is slowly building a new back fence and deck for it. In the meantime, I have daily topless swims since there are no kids at home to yell at mom to cover up!

With all the swimming that hubby and I have been enjoying, we have also found that he still cannot float, even with the added buoyancy of salt water. This baffled me, so I took a family poll, and apparently the young man cannot float either! Middle child quickly responded stating “well mom maybe it is because we have boobs?” This of course was my husband’s argument from the start.  “Women can float because we have boobs” has now led to numerous ridiculous arguments in our family.

Can you float?

Children and Swimming

We were all sitting in the backyard planning my grandmother’s eightieth birthday party. There were five adults sitting under a tent, and a few adults sitting by the two-foot deep kids pool. Since I was in the tent trying to organize the surprise birthday party, I asked my husband to watch our eldest, five at the time, and middle child age two at the time. Now both of my girls had been in swimming lessons since they were infants, but you still had to watch especially when they were quite a few kids in the pool horsing around. Middle child was wearing water wings, and this would be the last time she wore them.  I don’t know what happened but my husband was distracted and when I looked over, middle child was bent over, head fully emerged in water, arms sticking out. She couldn’t right herself because of the water wings. I dropped my glass, spilling it all over the table, jumped over people, ran to the pool, just to grab her in time. I pulled her out, she was gasping for her breath. I flipped, yelling at my husband, I don’t really know what I said because I was so scared we had lost her.

The lesson here: watch your kids, enrol them in swimming lessons, the summer is here and so is the heat. A child can drown in very little water.