You try to look good, then this happens

Yesterday morning I awoke with a list of chores longer than my arm, which is usual for a Saturday morning. The nice thing about Saturdays is I get to visit our local farmer’s market, today though, I had plenty of extra time to get ready. The teenage boy who may have stayed up a bit to late the previous night, may have had an extra beer, asked me to drive him to work for 10 a.m.

On Saturdays, I’m always up by 7 a.m. phoning the lovely lady (who I purchase my chicken from), with my order; then I phone the good-looking men who will have my beef order ready for when I appear at the market. Today, with the extra time given to me by the teenage boy, I thought I would put on some make-up rather than just getting up and hoping in the van. I decided to use a cream blush rather than the powder so my freckles would still show  (now if I was still in high school, I would have tried everything to hide those damn freckles of mine). Next I slithered into my skinny jeans and a nice lace top.

Looking fairly presentable I drove the teenage boy to work and went on to the market. I pick up my chicken and beef orders, then wander around to find the Ontario VQA wines (they are made  with 100% Ontario grapes) that are now being sold on the first level. I didn’t end up buying any wine, but I do get some eggs and a few cucumbers.

Booze in a shoe
This is not a Ontario VQA wine, but rather a very neat looking bottle of booze in a shoe.

Once I leave the market, where it was rather cool inside, I am hit with a blast of heat. I am very hot (not that kind of hot) in my skinny jeans and lace top, then being all hormonal I get a wonderful flipping hot flash to boot.  As soon as I arrive home I change into a sundress, throw a load of laundry in, and drive off to Costco for a few things plus some gas. In Costco, I go into the freezer for milk and cream. The freezer must be set at -30 Celsius, okay maybe not that cold, but I was left with chills all over my body, of course no hot flash then to warm me up.

Arriving home, middle child helps me bring in the few things I purchased, and I sit down to rest when she says “Mom you know you have red streaks running down the right side of your cheeks?” Damn, and more damn. Apparently when I was going from one hot environment to a cold one, the lovely cream blush I had so gingerly applied to my face in order to look pretty, had run down the side of my face. I now look like one of those (I won’t mention the store) ladies who have their picture all over the internet.

Note: if someone did take my picture and uploaded it to the internet, hopefully no one will recognize me. Next week I am going make-up free to the market and any other store I happen to visit, especially that one I won’t mention.

Why I don’t Vlog – I hate the sound of my voice

Years ago I worked on a helpline, answering the phone all day, directing people to the correct resource, and on more than one occasion, the sound of my voice was complimented. I would thank the person, but know deep down that the sound of my voice was actually horrible, I hated it, and had no idea why someone would think it was lovely.

The voice I hear in my head when I am speaking is completely different from the one I hear if I have listened to a tape I’ve made. My voice sounds deep, yet the voice on the tape is high-strung, squeaky, whiney, and any other negative adjective you can think of, which is why I don’t Vlog.

I have a YouTube channel where I’ve uploaded three videos, but it is not something I publicize. I had, well still have grandiose ideas of creating videos of me cooking/baking my favourite recipes. Again though, I am stalled by the sound of my voice. If you do visit my YouTube channel, you will find three videos, I personally love “Sitting On the loo”.

Yesterday middle child’s dog Bear was acting very silly, so I thought I would make a video of him, to send to my daughter. We are currently taking care of him while she is in spring school. Middle child didn’t think it would be fair for him to be locked up in the apartment all day, so she asked us to take care of him for six weeks. Thus the reason I made this video (try to ignore my voice):

Where did my eye brows go?

First I grew chin hairs which to any woman is a near death experience, now I have to deal with the fact my eye brows are slowly but surely either turning grey or just vanishing all together.  I guess the bonus here is I rarely have to pluck now, which is actually a good thing; I can’t see anything that small without my glasses on, and plucking while wearing glasses is just asking me to poke my eye out. The hairs that are missing are at the very beginning, and at the end of my brows, so the parts remaining are in the middle.

Image of missing eye brows

Okay at least I have something to work with. So I pull out my box of tools to try to give myself some brows.

Tools of the trade to make eyebrows

Good brows highlight a woman’s eyes. So in my kit there is a template I use to make eyebrows. First there are two different colours one uses to fill the template, then you can add wax to keep the colour in place, and lastly you use the brush to fiddle with the brows so they look real. My next choice is just to use a pencil and colour in the empty spaces, an easy no think option, colour, and your off. My third choice is similar to a mascara, except there are tiny little fibers that look like hairs. I find the third choice is my favourite but I do switch back and forth depending on how lazy I am feeling that day. Voila, I have eye brows!

I have brows