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When the adult child moves back home

Middle child after climbing Mont Yongma in South KoreaMiddle child, age 24 has lived in Seoul, South Korea for the past year, she now returns home in exactly one week. For the first few weeks she will be crabby, something she, herself freely admits. Part of the problem will be the time change for her. Seoul is thirteen hours ahead of us. Her nights, are my days. For the past year, she has phoned us just before her bedtime, when we are just getting up to start our day. So when I spoke with her this morning, I asked if she would still have a morning chat with me. She responded, well if I am up feeding the dogs I will. I reminded her that her father feeds the dogs at 6:30am, her tune soon changed well I guess not then.

Well living in South Korea, middle child’s diet completely changed. She eats mostly vegetables because meat is very expensive, we eat meat a good five nights out of seven. She eats a lot of sushi, we never eat sushi. I said she could have the refrigerator in the basement to keep her food, but she didn’t seem to like that idea. She also hasn’t really eaten a lot of cheese, something she lived on when she was here, regardless of the fact, it makes her incredibly ill because she has a milk intolerance. When she was home the cheese disappeared quickly in the fridge, whereas the last package of cheese her father and I had in the fridge, went mouldy because we didn’t eat very much of it.

She has a part-time job when she returns, while she looks for a full-time job in her set career, but in the meantime, she says she will be relaxing for a few weeks, it is her retirement from teaching she tells me. Ha! I remind her that her father is 54, and will not be able to retire for another ten years, thus retirement for her at twenty-four will not happen.

When she arrives home, the first few days will be lovely, even though we have spoken with her pretty much every day since she left, it is still not the same as actually seeing and giving her a hug when she is sad. After the initial I missed you days, the screaming will probably ensue by both of us trying to learn how to live together again. I will want her to wash the dishes, and she will complain about how many coffee cups I use in a day. Eventually she will wash them, but probably not to my liking. It is a mother thing. She will leave a mess that I am not use too, I will leave a mess that she is not use too. Oh life will be fun as we learn to live together again, and not want to kill each other.

When the adult child returns home to live after being away for a year, have you experienced this?

10 Replies to “When the adult child moves back home”

  1. The key to making a successful transition home is for parents to recognize the change in their grown children’s maturity and treat them not as adolescents but as adults

    1. Very true, but it is still difficult since the young adult has their way of doing things, and parents the other way. Plus the young adult may not want to help with cleaning such places as the bathrooms, or washing dishes, even though they use them.

  2. Oh the joys of living with the Boomerang Kid… bittersweet. It took us a while to gel back together but I think we’re there now and hope that her first career steps take off. I don’t think it’s good for their confidence to live too long at home. All the best!

    1. Oh I never thought to use the term “boomerang kid”, that fits perfectly! Some days I am used to having an empty nest, other days not so much. I really miss our three kids being young and running throughout the house. Ah such is life.

      Thank you for your visit and comment Suzanne.

  3. It’s always lovely to have them back. The feelings of euphoria usually last less than 24 hours and then it’s business as usual as four of us attempt to live together & not say things we’re likely to regret. Enjoy those hugs with middle child :o)

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