I recently won an awesome award and…

My prize was a very cool, one-of-a-kind t-shirt from the staff at the Long Awkward Pause.  If you haven’t visited this site and you need a Monday morning laugh, I highly recommend it.


I thought I would have to wait until she gave birth before I saw her vagina

First of all I liked to say that there is no topic that our family doesn’t share/talk about, so when the eldest said she was going to have a Brazilian done to her father and I, well…potty mouth me said “WTF, are you insane!”, apparently though she is. I’m  much smarter because there is no way in hell I would have anyone, including my husband go down there, and rip my hair off with wax while I yelled “fuck and more fuck” at the top of my lungs. It was bad enough giving birth when after my second child I told my husband he wasn’t going in there ever again (oh how the brain forgets pain until of course the third child is coming out).

Well the eldest needed moral support so she asked her sister to accompany her to the appointment. Okay, stop right there, “you asked your sister to go with you, see your vagina in all it’s glory and she actually said yes”.  Again “WTF”, there is sharing and then there is sharing (yes I know I am in the “too much information (TMI)” area with this blog post but I have my daughter’s permission). So there’s middle child holding her sister’s legs “spread eagle”, while the eldest is screeching I need a break but middle child is yelling right back at her saying “suck it up and rub some dirt on it and be a man”. Of course all during the session middle child is thinking eww and more eww, this is fucking disgusting. I thought I would have to wait until she gave birth before I saw her vagina.

Note: there will be no pictures for this post.

Internet friends

I have been computer literate for years, so when I had my children, each learned early how to use one and the rules of using the computer. First and most importantly, they were not allowed on the internet unless mom or dad were in the room. When the kids joined Facebook, there were new rules to follow and it all worked out well. Most importantly they were not allowed to ever chat with strangers online or meet anyone they spoke with online.

Years went by, and Twitter came about, which of course I joined (geek). The kids were older and were now lecturing me about chatting with strangers online. When I said I was going to a Tweet-up, they freaked on me. I explained I would be in a local restaurant thus a public place, and I would have my cell on me, they weren’t particularly pleased but finally gave their approval (I was 50 years old by the way, in their mind though age did not matter). All went well at the get-together, I met other moms in my city and basically we chatted about boring things. My next big step was attending a Blogging conference, where I met other bloggers from all over Canada.

So when I heard Sarah (the blogger behind Journeys of the Zoo) and her family would be in my area, I invited them to our house for a barbecue, my children were not very impressed. Middle child went so far as to post this on her Facebook page: mama bird is having some internet friends over for dinner….. I feel like this is turning into an episode of how to catch a predator. Now I had been chatting with Sarah on Twitter before I met her at the Blissdom Canada Social Media/Blogging Conference. We hit it off immediately, continued our relationship online,  I added her to my snail mail Christmas list, and her lovely children mailed me a postcard from Mexico (it only took about two months for it to arrive). Basically Sarah was no longer a stranger to me, though she was to my family.

This past Sunday, Sarah and her family arrived for dinner, and we all immediately got along. Her children were amazingly adorable and well-behaved, her husband and brother were exceptionally polite guests but also humorous. It was a lovely visit all round, and I look forward to them dropping by again.

Sarah and I

Note: You have to be very careful who you chat with on the internet, though that person may say they are the same age as you are, you cannot take this as true. Always meet in a public place, if possible bring a friend along with you. If you are underage, DO NOT meet up with people you chatted with and always talk to your parents please.

Parents: it is important that you know what your children are doing online; when our kids were young we had the computer in our living room, that way, we could easily monitor their activity. If you are not computer literate, look into taking a course, most libraries or community centres will offer free courses for adults.

Remember the online world can be fun but it can also be dangerous, so just be informed.